Contorted plants are fascinating... Political contortionists are at least boring - potentially dangerous. This is a Styphnolobium japonicum 'Pendula' at Mt. Auburn Cemetery

Climate Change: A Political Rant for All Seasons

For the science deniers all science-based data is pure science fiction. If facts are meaningless to you then this essay will not contain enough sci-fi to satisfy your need for escapism. If you hate politics then this rant may give you indigestion. To you, who may be a science denier, an a la carte science believer or a hater of politics, I recommend that you please enjoy the next installment of Sharknado while the adults in the room have a conversation.

For those in congress who have boiler-plated the phrase “I am not a scientist but...” in effort to divert, dissuade and cast doubt on the fact of man-made climate change I have to say that this tactic doesn't pass the smell test. And for all who actually exercise their brains as they watch and listen to you frauds neither for these insightful folks do you pass smell test. For if you are not a scientist yet deny verifiable facts while scratching yourself like a goofy idiot in the public spotlight then it begs the question: who are you to cast doubt upon trained experts who collect, understand and disseminate the data from a broad range of disciplines? Seriously. Fact is transparent. Your rhetoric is not. Shut up; sit down. Listen for a blessed change.

If you, the fact-deniers, can't be helpful and move this country forward in positive directions please do the country a patriotic good deed: just go away. You are certainly not representing the most of us. You are pointless and regressive except to the fossil fuel industry and the likes of ALEC who fill your back pockets with oil barrels stuffed with greasy money. You bolster your inane careers as you unhinge your disingenuous maws whilst contributing to global warming through denial, inaction plus the unnecessary expulsion of hot gas. Frankly, it is difficult to determine from which end the gas escapes. You have cynically flouted democracy and replaced it with plutocratic bribery as you greedily do the dirty work of the highest bidder. You sanctimoniously smile in public while you take bribes behind closed doors. Just because you deem it legal does not make it right. It certainly is not for the greater good. We all suffer because of your myopic, greedy malfeasance. Tick tock.

Perhaps you, the science denier, resent my tone. Maybe you, the purported civil servant, think me disrespectful. Might I suggest the feeling mutual? For you are neither civil nor servant. Go ahead: get your disingenuous hackles up. Your intransigence has slowed and stifled necessary measures that would allow for an economic boon through new and innovative ways to harness sun, wind, geothermal and water that would put people back to work at decent wages. Lower energy costs would revitalize the economy. Our sagging middle class might actually get a desperately needed boost. The benefits of these energy sources would lessen carbon emissions and pollution, the latter contributing to disease and asthma issues in a significant portion of the population. A healthier population is a more productive population. Healthier people strain less an absurdly over-priced health care system thereby lowering costs saving us even more money. Positive cycles. Hypothetical, yes. But definitely within the realm of likelihood.

But you're too busy tacitly winking at the boys behind the black curtains while taking bribes. But is it really bribery? It seems you are in eager agreement to provide and fulfill services to the highest bidder. It appears to be more like flagrant prostitution. Funny, that reminds me of posters I saw from time to time when I resided in Brooklyn, New York. The posters taped to telephone poles advertised performances by a band who unabashedly called themselves “Whorehouse of Representatives”. But you are not the “whore with the heart of gold” - well, the only gold is that which you surreptitiously cram into your back pockets. Whether you are taking bribes or providing services - either way it's a full time tawdry job at the expense of all those you purportedly represent.

We all have been hearing the couplet “mission creep” in relation to military interventions in which we become mired overseas. There is mission creep right here on our shores exacted by your ilk, congressman. Your sleazy antics have consequences. I fear now with so many aspects of climate change in motion and the inability to do what is truly necessary as a nation to as quickly as possible move to oil abstinence it may be too late.

You certainly don't like my accusations. You definitely don't like my tone. You simply want me to just go away. You hurriedly flee from the cameras hiding your face as you dismiss me. However, we are not at a staged, theatrical congressional hearing to which you don't actually search for answers so you sit down and shut up. Though you act more important than everyone else as you strut around with your yapping maw and ego on display. It is as if we all should cower in your glorious presence. Civil servant. Please! You are not any more important than I or any among your constituents. I've called you out. You don't like that. You don't like me. Considering the source I can in good, ever-so-clean conscience live with that.

To you who don't like my leftist, colonial, nazi, commie, pink, conspiracy-laden tree hugging voice, I ask: you plainly condescend in a fact-free diatribe to the scientists and the amazing array of data they have collected and disseminated? You don't like that I trust the scientists who have studied, collected and connected together from their respective disciplines, thousands of scientists from around our planet, an increasing body of verifiable scientific data? You don't like that I call out your fatuous rhetoric and publicly stick your face in it? You think me not conservative: I, who dare desire to conserve all that is truly rich and beautiful for coming generations in a clean, green more healthful and healthy world where all manner of life is respected? I, who believe in democracy and fairness? Well, fair is fair. So sit down and shut up...

I don't like your smell of foetid corruption and filth, the malodorous stink carried on hot, southerly winds, so strong that it reeks from a distance of 400 miles. I don't like that you falsely wrap yourself in the red, white and blue blaring the mantra of “liberty” and “freedom”, another disingenuous and shallow diversion to take the focus from your static lack of productivity. I do not like that you avariciously stuff your back pockets with tainted money and vote policies that abuse the children of Earth, human and otherwise. I don't like that you have mastered the “art” of double speak and talking points in avoidance of providing answers – actual answers to the questions put forth to you. I don't like that you grow wealthy at the expense of the whole who you plainly misrepresent. I don't like that you are hellbent on making the world a more difficult, more contentious, more sickly place for all children. I am disgusted that you would purposely conflate a political system, democracy, with a raw, base, unregulated economic system, capitalism, which now cannibalizes democracy with its rapacious appetites as fostered by the likes of ALEC and the fossil fuel corporations. I don't like that you manipulate and dupe too many who are so busy and exhausted just trying to accomplish the day-to-day tasks to make ends meet that they don't have a moment to scrutinize your poison rhetoric, dig into it and fathom the implications of your double speak. You are egocentric slop, political asthma. You are no patriot. You are treacherous and a traitor to a healthy democracy. You have no vision save the dollar signs taped to your eyeballs. You are the mission creep.

And to my reader I ask: science fiction, you think? For God's sake: think! Time for the actual patriots to rise up. It is time for the quiet patriots, those who are secure enough that they needn't loudly wrap themselves in blaring, neon red, white and blue, to coalesce and come together. Vote your minds and your hearts. Vote your common sense. Vote vision for a future that is welcoming to your children and all the children of Earth. Positive cycles.

Oh look! Another new version of Sharknado is about to air: climate denying corporations and politicians with wide mouths, sparkling teeth and narrow minds pummel down from the angry skies cynically tearing, biting, eating, chomping everyone and everything in their wake. Look! The tainted money flies from their back pockets whipped into eddies. All the bills collect as one like a migrating flock, then the flock of money folds over slowing dipping, ending in a point, it momentarily suspends in midair as a held breath. The flock then lets loose, it dispels and rains down, fluttering, swaying and swirling in an ever-broadening array, your lost future in the deadfall. All this in the mega storm designed and paid for by fossil fuel corporations to which we, in this disaster movie are the unfortunate extras. You, the goofy idiot representative taking bribes from big oil and ALEC, who scratches himself in the public arena while spouting the boiler-plated “I'm not a scientist but...” We, the adults in the room have identified you as the real Sharknado. Thank you, representative, for your brilliant performance in public for all to see. Belief is opaque. Fact is transparent. Tick tock.

Penned by Wayne Paquette in November, 2014